The Last Ditch

The greatest comedian ever - on judges

I am deeply indebted to NHS Blog Doctor for having found on YouTube a film that I did not know existed of Peter Cook performing his "Judge/Miner Monologue". Apropos of nothing in particular, here it is.

Give Ed the kicking he deserves

Link: a kick in the Balls.

h/t Guido. Enjoy!!

Sub-prime Bohemian Rhapsody

I received this from one of my clients today. It really needs to be sung aloud...

Is this the real price?

Is this just fantasy?

Financial landslide

No escape from reality

Open your eyes

And look at your buys and see.

I'm now a poor boy

High-yielding casualty

Because I bought it high,

watched it blow

Rating high,

value low

Any way the Fed goes

Doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama - just killed my fund

Quoted CDO's instead

Pulled the trigger, now it's dead

Mama - I had just begun

These CDO's have blown it all away

Mama - oooh

I still wanna buy

I sometimes wish I'd never left Goldman at all.

I see a little silhouette of a Fed

Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market?

Monolines and munis - very very frightening me!

Oh Super senior, super senior,
Super senior CDO

Magnifico

I'm long of subprime, nobody loves me

He's long of subprime CDO fantasy

Spare the margin call you monstrous PB!

Easy come easy go, will you let me go?

Peloton! No - we will not let you go -

let him go

Peloton! We will not let you go -

let him go

Peloton! We will not let you go -

let me go

Will not let you go

- let me go (never)

Never let you go - let me go

Never let me go - ooo

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, -

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go S&P had the devil put aside for me

For me, for me, for me

So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye?

And then margin call me and leave me to die Oh PB - can't do this to me PB

Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

No price really matters

No liquidity

Nothing really matters - no price really matters to me

Any way the Fed goes.....

These aren't your dad's puns....

h/t Ms Paine the Elder.

Téléchargez votre vin

Link: USBWINE : téléchargez votre vin en direct des domaines.

H/T Croydonian. This really is brilliant.

I am currently ordering a car which has a feature (reporting its tyre-pressures to a dashboard gauge) which, years ago, BMW featured in one of its superb April Fool ads. Now that joke is real. How I love living in an era of technological progress. How I hope to live to report that this one made the transition too!!

Davos celebrates

Link: The Daily Mash - DAVOS CELEBRATES ANOTHER YEAR OF FRANTIC MASTURBATION.

The Daily Mash (who are these guys? - their "about" page is strangely coy) continues to set the standards for British satire. How I chuckled as I set off for the airport to return to the relative sanity of Russia. Satire always dies under Labour, as the luvvies of the British media back off to let "their boys" have a free run. When the Conservatives are in power, we get such high class stuff as Not the Nine O'Clock News, Spitting Image and Yes, Minister. When Labour rules, we get such trash as The Goodies or Little Britain as homo sovieticus attempts to distract the peasantry from missed tractor production targets with mindless State Circus clowning.

The high quality satire from the Daily Mash therefore suggests that Labour is already on the way out. I particularly loved this mock quote from a Davos official;

The organisers said this year's event set a new record for the number of billionaires who arrived by helicopter to talk about the ghastliness of poverty.

but do go and read the whole thing. If satire is back, political sanity cannot be too far behind.

The dangers of blogging for men

This video is well worth a watch.

h/t Theo Spark (click to visit his new blog) and be sure to bookmark it.

Lawyer Jokes

Link: Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe: Lawyer Jokes - Tom Paine Look Away.

I used to carry a database of hundreds of these jokes in my old Psion, so that if someone started telling them, I could outgun him. So Colin's collection today has only one I haven't seen before - with the punchline "Chelsea Clinton." Wander over and take a look; there are some classics.

We lawyers know that these jokes are a sign of your affectionate regard for our profession and that you all know how essential we are to a free society. Or maybe you're just jealous. Either way, we're relaxed.

I am so much cooler online

Link: YouTube - Brad Paisley-Online.

Embedding the official YouTube video of this is forbidden so you will just have to follow the link to enjoy country singer Brad Paisley nailing those of us who are "so much cooler online." If you just want to hear the song, you can just settle for the unauthorised YouTube offering below. I had to smile ruefully that (in addition to the highly realistic avatar who hosted this year's Blogpower Awards ceremony) I have a Second Life "av" who looks rather like Brad Paisley himself. So Mr Paisley has me bang to rights.

If you don't think this song is funny, you should definitely give your online life a break and go join a tennis club or something.

The ThunderDragon: Just Bloggin' Bout My Generation

Link: The ThunderDragon: Just Bloggin' Bout My Generation.

I am trying not to take this post by young Mr ThunderDragon personally. Particularly as "grok" is from a sci-fi book published  when I was a toddler. According to SearchSMB.com;

-

To grok (pronounced GRAHK)
something is to understand something so well that it is fully absorbed
into oneself. In Robert Heinlein's science-fiction novel of 1961, Stranger in a Strange Land,
the word is Martian and literally means "to drink" but metaphorically
means "to take it all in," to understand fully, or to "be at one with."
Today, grok sometimes is used to include acceptance as well as
comprehension - to "dig" or appreciate as well as to know.

Also, "My Generation" was the song of the screwed-up generation before mine. You know; the one which completed the evil work of the war generation; stealing the money of succeeding generations by creating an unfunded Welfare State.

If you want to insult your elders, TD, your generation might like to make up some words (and music) of its own.