The Last Ditch

Political gratitude

BBC NEWS | UK | Porritt parting shot at ministers.

Time and again, outgoing government employees criticise the administration that employed them. Jonathon Porritt has sucked at the public teat for nine years, without ever a word of criticism, but now he has come over all brave. If the government had taken his advice, presumably it would now have a strong record (as it claims) on environmental policies. If it was not taking his advice, why did he continue to take our money from it? Why was he not principled enough, this paragon of the green virtues, to resign?

Porritt is one of those who claims that green issues are of paramount concern; that the end is nigh for the world if they are not addressed. Yet, for taxpayers' money, he was prepared to keep silent for nine precious years when - as he would now have us believe - the government was failing to address them. When he sneers that Britain is a "...world leader in green rhetoric..." and accuses the government of hypocrisy, does he not see the irony of that?

In a mildly indignant tone, a government spokesman is quoted as saying;

Jonathan Porritt last week praised our Low Carbon Transition Plan which is backed by active steps to make sure firms in the UK grab the growth and job opportunities in nuclear, renewable, electric car and other growth industries.

Ah but yes, dear boy, last week you were still paying him with money looted from us. Prime Minister Balladur of France once cynically observed;

In politics there is only gratitude for favours yet to be received

It seems the insufferable, holier-than-thou Greens are more like their political opponents than they pretend.

Mr Eugenides: MP's pay scandal

Link: Mr Eugenides: MP's pay scandal.

I have nothing to add to this, which made me spill my evening drink. Thanks, Mr. Eugenides. I could never have believed that such a story could make me laugh.

It really is scandalous that our elected representatives are so poorly remunerated for their 160 days' work every year. Not only should they be paid more, but on Fridays they should be transported back to their constituencies with great pomp and dignity on litters carried by lucky constituents randomly selected from the national ID database, with cheering crowds lining their routes and a train of elephants and peacocks following in their wake. Once back among their people, they should be sent the fairest virgins of the town to give them oral pleasure (non-virgins may be suitable substitutes for Essex MPs) and their bedchambers strewn with rose petals to ensure a sound and restful night.

Even these modest proposals would hardly constitute proper recognition for their selfless public service, but they would be a powerful reminder to our masters of the gratitude and quiet goodwill that millions of us bear in our hearts.